Goodbye
by EdwardxBellaCullen
Summary: A BlaiseHermione oneshot. Hermione tells her story about Blaise and something she will always regret.


Disclaimer: I don't own any HP characters, that all belongs to the marvelous and talented mind of JK Rowling.

Rating: PG-13

A/N: Well I wrote this story for my English class and I was proud of it so I decided to post it as a fanfic. I changed the characters to Blaise and Hermione and made it more 'magical' to go with the HP theme because this story was based on just modern people, so if it doesn't seem real, don't judge to hard…

This is kind of AU for the characters…

Anyway enjoy……

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**He Betrayed me.**

And it wasn't that he was drunk, drugged, under a spell or because I did something just as bad. He did it in spite of me, god damn I don't even know. Its so weird how things turn out; god knows he did it because any of those reasons above I would have forgiven him. But now, I have nothing left to offer him. I didn't break up with him in anger or annoyance; I did it because it wouldn't be right to continue on with him. He broke my trust, as cliché as that sounds, and now I have no more desire to make him happy, to love him.

Because he cheated on me.

I don't even know with who, or when. I just know what and where. That's enough to make me want to puke him out of my system, to curse him, to hex him, to slash his pictures, to hold my stomach in fear and loneliness. It wasn't like in those cliché teen muggle movies I used to watch. I didn't walk in on him, nor did anyone else. I guess you could say they did what they had to do. I'm not stupid, I hear people talking, whispering in the halls as I pass by. I hear people judging the situation they have no idea about. It is so unfair, their whispers, they hurt. Even though I know they shouldn't get to me, they did and still do, and they left a mark of cautiousness in me.

"_Oh yeah, she screwed him good"_

The pain, the feeling of being an outcast amongst my peers tugged my mind; there was nowhere in the castle that I would be at peace. Not in the halls, the classrooms, the library, not even in the Gryffindor common room, and especially not in my own dorm. Too many memories are embedded into the whole place, of Blaise, of our memories together.

And to think, when I told him it was over he actually asked why. What a bastard, selfish desperate bastard. All I did was look in his eyes in disgust, and found ignorance. I looked away in pure disgust, and to think, I actually saw something in him.

But today in class, it was different. I didn't see the usual laid back Blaise, I saw something so complicated. We were just sitting in potions, as usual; the Slytherins sending death glares to the Gryffindors, as I glanced at the clock. 3 days, 12 hours and 31 minutes since I broke up with him. Shut up. But I couldn't help myself, anything reminded me of him, of his sweet touches, and every time I pass by the room of requirement, I'm reminded of my first time. It was so special, and that's who I marked him as. Blaise, the one who took my virginity. Yeah, sounds stupid, but after we had sex for the first time, things were so different. So different in a good way, because since then, every time he would smile he would own up to his title. Funny, don't you think?

Well, as I said. One thing today was different. Well, Malfoy still had his evil trademark smirk, Professor Snape wouldn't stop picking on Harry, and Ron wouldn't stop cursing Snape out under his breath. But like I said, one thing was different.

Blaise was quiet.

And I don't mean just quiet as listening to the teacher and taking notes quiet, but I mean dead quiet. Yeah, he usually was, but not like this. Staring off into the ceiling, staring down at his quill and parchment. I was bothered, even though I shouldn't be. But Blaise made and still makes me do a lot of things I shouldn't be doing, so I just brushed him off.

But something was seriously different.

I got out of class in a rush for the next class, smiling and nodding to my fellow house mates passing by. Some people, from the other houses, still had the time to actually give me strange glances and whisper something amongst them, but I handled it pretty well. Yeah, sure I did. I almost hexed a girl for telling her friend that it was my fault. What the hell? Blaise cheats on me, and it's my fault? The anger I brought out towards her was supposed to go to Blaise, but she was pushing it. Yeah I would say I handled it pretty well; it could have ended up worse.

" 'Mione, I need to talk to you," he breathed against me as I was walking to Arithmancy.

"If you can see, I'm trying to get to class" I said hastily, my tone not giving him any form of mercy whatsoever.

I walked at a faster pace, trying to get away from him.

"Hermione wait!" he practically begged as I saw everyone's eyes on me.

I ignored his calls, and continued my way down the hall. But I could just hear his footsteps behind me, his body scrambling through the crowd.

"Please" he begged some more, while lightly touching my arm.

Like a reflex, my arm jumped out of his touch. I couldn't help but flinch at my own move, because I knew I had practiced exactly what I would do when he tried to talk to me-the cruel and mean ways I would ignore him, and I was actually doing it.

"What?" I spit out carelessly.

"You've got to let me explain" his voice was a whisper, cautiously keeping his eyes with mine, sometimes looking around at some of the staring faces.

"Screw you Blaise…better yet, why don't you go screw someone else?" I whipped myself around, cursing at myself for seeing his expression. So detached, so pained, so tempting.

But I was going to be strong, and walk away from him. He wasn't worth this, this absurdity, my energy. I swear, he really wasn't.

Later on the day passed, people stared, assignments were given, pranks were played and people were snogging. They were holding hands, smiling sweetly, and bumping their bodies gently as they walked down the halls. I never noticed it, the love of my peers going around in the school. It happened to me, yet, I felt I was looking at something so unfamiliar. I shrugged as my day passed, until during dinner, I finally got to talk to my best friend.

"So, you ok?" he asked sincerely, while trying to meet eye to eye with me as I sat beside him.

I looked up, my thumps twiddling.

"Yeah, Harry, I'm fine." I let out smoothly, I was even impressed at how professionally happy I was. He smiled wide and enveloped me in his great big brotherly hug.

"Things are back to normal" he smiled up at me, which was usually enough to make me smile back.

This time, I couldn't be bothered. I went up to my dormitory replaying the words Harry had spoken to me….normal is not what I wanted. I wanted different. I wanted fun. I wanted Blaise. I wanted to scream, fight, and yell at him. I wanted to laugh together. I wanted to kiss him, hug him, snuggle with him, and look into those amazing and entrancing eyes of his admiringly. I wanted a relationship. I wanted interesting. But that was all gone now, I thought as I put on my muggle clothing for the inter-house party that was starting in a couple hours. Things were normal again, I guess. I nodded at my reflection. I didn't really want to go, but I was one of the prefects that organized this and Harry told me I had to get my mind off everything and just have fun. He's right I guess.

Maybe it was just me, but parties suck. This one especially, Harry or Ron weren't there to help me through this because of a mission for the order….a mission that Blaise was also going to go on after the party. I wanted to go as well, but Harry convinced me that I should have a night off….a night away from Blaise. He's right I suppose.

"'Mione" a groggy voice came from behind me, as I turned to see Blaise once again.

"What is it with you and coming up from behind?" I spit out as he scratched his head in daze.

My words seemed to pierce his ears, for I saw him squint in displeasure of my words.

"Baby, I miss you…I miss you like crazy" he blurted out. I had to stop my evil laugh from escaping my lips.

"Well, I don't" I snickered, seeing him in torture helped-but added some guilt. But still it felt good.

"I'm sorry I hurt you; it's something I have to live with everyday. Every god damn day" he whined as I saw him grind his teeth in frustration, his eyebrows darting upwards in pain.

"I can't hear this right now!" I tried to keep in my yells.

Things got strangely quiet, as quiet as a party gets. He was staring at me, and I felt some stares come from around the room.

"Look what you did, now people are watching" I hissed, while I could hear them move uncomfortably.

He took a few steps forward, and held in his cry. I could see it.

"I don't care. I'm sorry for the pain you went through…I wish I could take it all away. Please, just back and say you'll forgive me" he whispered some more, while I shook my head in disbelief, and left him with the four words I would regret for the rest of my life.

"Go to hell Blaise." I said sternly, all eyes were on us. And when I walked away, all eyes were on him.

He deserved it.

After that episode I had with him, I decided that agreeing to come to that party was a bad choice, so I went back up to my dormitory and quickly fell asleep.

I was woken up the next morning by an owl I did not recognize tapping on my window. I let it in, and it dropped a letter on my bed. I quickly opened the letter wondering who it was from.

I quickly scanned the letter, my heart shattering with every word I read. I didn't want to believe it…I wouldn't believe it. Tears flowed down my face, unstoppably, like a river. Lavender heard my cries and woke up, walking over to me. She asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't tell her. All that came out were sobs and more sobs.

I got the letter, and I ran. Ran out of the common room, ran passed all the early risers, to wherever my feet would take me.

I opened a door and I gasped. It was the room Blaise and I first made love in. Even more tears poured down my face as I remembered….

**Flashback**

He kissed the end of my jaw line, while falling back on his side of the bed.

"I always imagined it would be this good" he smirked while I blushed and pushed him playfully.

"What? Can't I be romantic around my sexy girl?" he teased while leaning in, tugging purposely on the white sheets enveloped around me.

"I'm not sexy" I whispered while his face moved in, and he stopped to stare into my eyes.

"Yes you are" he objected, determined.

I smiled wide, knowing it wasn't something Blaise usually said, feelings wasn't really his thing. But now, he was opening up to me.

"I swear I'm not" I teased, my eyes growing big as I shook my head.

"Just…shut up" his soft chuckle filled the room as his smirk turned into his lips forming a tight circle, inching closer to kiss me.

I let out a small giggle, as his lips captured mine, and then when he tauntingly bit my lower lip playfully.

**End Flashback**

I collapsed on the floor, not wanting to believe. I read the letter one more time.

_Dear Miss Granger,_

_We are sorry to inform you that Blaise Zabini has been killed during an order mission on the 15th of March at half past ten at night. He died saving many lives._

_We know that Mr. Zabini was very dear to you and we are very sorry for your loss._

_A remembrance ceremony will be held for him shortly._

_Our condolences,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

I cried harder as I came to accept it.

Blaise Zabini was so much more than my first time, he was my first love. And now, he was gone….I didn't even give him a chance, he didn't tell me why he cheated on me... and it was my fault because I would never know.

Now I would do anything to get him back, even if it was just for him to confess. I would take him back with open arms, but I knew that was never going to happen. I had lost my friend, my lover, my…Blaise. It was my fault, all my fault I realized in the end…I didn't care, I should have. I should have forgiven Blaise. I whimpered as I remembered my last words to him.

"_Go to hell Blaise"_

I had sent him to go die.

**I betrayed him.**

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Well, I hoped you liked it! 

Review please!

Jul


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